In this series of blogs, Writing Woes, I will share with you some amusing insights on the mistakes people inadvertently make when writing, based on my work as a professional tutor and as a writer for Summit University. (You can visit my tutoring website here: https://lynnthetutor.com)
Here we go!
The Blatant Beast—How to Tame Dangling Modifiers
A dangling modifier, AKA misplaced modifier (but saying dangling is more fun) is a word or phrase that is in the wrong part of a sentence so that it actually describes something other than what it was meant to describe. Very often people can figure out what you meant; even so, keep your modifiers right next to the word they are meant to describe.
Here is one of my assignments from a Writer’s Workshop a few decades ago: “Select any member of our group and make that person the protagonist of a short fantasy.”
Me, the night before: “Why did I procrastinate? What can I do fast? I know; I’ll use Don and let Don be his title, not his name; he can be a Spanish knight. I’ll render him unconscious somehow and drop him into a scene from Edmond Spencer’s Faerie Queene.”
Sentence from quick and ugly first draft:
Led by the knight in armor was a fair damsel riding side saddle on a palomino palfrey in a green silk dress.
If you did not find the mistake above chuckle-worthy, you did not perceive the dangling modifier. Put on your most literal persona and read it again carefully. You must be able to find these interlopers if you mean to be able to avoid them in your own writing. Sorry to beat a dead horse, as it were, for those who laughed out loud at the first reading, but for the others I say: in that sentence the horse is wearing a green silk dress.
Read-through of rushed second draft:
Led by the armored knight was a palomino palfrey sitting side saddle on a green silk dress worn by a fair damsel.
No, no, no! That horse is just laughing at me; now he’s sitting on the dress, obstreperous* beast! This is all his fault.
I suppose I could make it into two or three sentences. That would solve it. But that would break up the flow and add importance to what is just background description.
Um—I could leave out the dress, but no—it’s a damsel in distress; her impractical garb helps show she has been kidnapped and is not just out for a ride.
The palfrey carried a damsel in a green silk dress…
That still doesn’t work. Sounds as if the horse made the dress into a bag and stuffed the damsel into it. That ill-begotten, disrespectful, sway-backed, bandy-legged nag!
How can this be so hard? I’m a better writer than this.
Ok, I’ve got a horse, a female, and a dress. Surely it’s possible to put them all into one sentence with no dangling modifiers. I’ll show that horse who’s boss!
Next came a fair damsel in a green silk dress riding a palomino palfrey that was led by the armored Knight of the Black Shield.
OKAY! That makes sense now and I’ve even added a black shield so everyone can see that this knight is the villain.
Not all dangling modifiers are as blatant, but all must be corrected. Train yourself to see them in your own work and in the works of others. It’s a skill you can learn.
*obstreperous: Noisily unruly or defiant (American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language 5).
Wonderful helpful info!
Glad you found it so. I’m writing a series of writing tips now.
Fun! lol thanks! lol
Thanks, Patricia. Glad to have a loyal follower.