In this series of blogs, Writing Woes, I will share with you some amusing insights on the mistakes people inadvertently make when writing, based on my work as a professional tutor and as a writer for Summit University. (You can visit my tutoring website here: https://lynnthetutor.com)
Here we go!
“Me and my friend want to go play.”
“My friend and I,” mother corrects.
“Will you give me and my friend some cookies?”
“My friend and I!”
I have come to believe that every English-speaking mother everywhere for at least five generations has said the same thing to every child because the phrase my friend and I seems to be set in concrete now, unchangeable regardless of its position in a sentence. I hear it everywhere: in movies and TV shows, in the news; it is even in print. And about half the time, it is wrong.
We can be very grammatical about this and speak of subjects and objects and prepositional phrases. We can diagram sentences and explain pedantically and at length that sometimes the phrase must be my friend and me. But who will listen? (OK, you diehard grammarians: use I in the subject and me in the object, got it?)
There are two very simple rules that will yield the correct phrase every time if followed.
1. We are courteous, we English speakers, and wish always to give others precedence over ourselves. So we always mention the other person first. This is simply good manners.
My sisters and I, the rest of the team and me.
2. Without reference to any grammatical terms at all, even young children can correctly choose whether to use I or me by simply eliminating the other people in the phrase.
My friend and ____ went outside to play.
(My friend and) I went outside to play.
My mom gave Jamie and ____ cookies.
My mom gave (Jamie and) me cookies.
The KISS policy (Keep It Simple, Sweetie) works very well. Why not do and teach this the easy way?
Lynn The Tutor
(My tutoring website: https://lynnthetutor.com)